I believe in myself.

I believe in the power of reflection and of writing.

I believe that when we take the time to reflect and when we take the time to record these reflections, we leave notes to our future selves and to our past selves and to our present selves that we are enough, that we are the ones we have been waiting for, that better is possible, that whatever we have in this moment is alright.

I believe that I am enough.

The last time I wrote felt like an eternity ago, yet, after another incredibly hard week which saw attacks on my character and integrity, I felt like there was no break from the roller coaster, that I had been given a free ticket to continue riding even after I had signaled to the ride operator that I needed to get off for a moment.

Today was better. Today was healing.

Today was filled with reflection and contribution, seeing that there is such a need for us to make space for our own humanity.

Then it wasn’t.

More words and baseless accusations, so unbelievable that anyone who knows me finds them completely laughable.

I do not believe these words and accusations.

I will treat those who level them against me with respect and grace for their humanity, respect and grace which they have not given to me because I don’t know another way, and even if I did, I couldn’t bring myself to use my voice and power to dehumanize.

Even those who would tell lies for their benefit that would harm me.

We do not have to agree to learn from one another.

But I am human.

So these things hurt even when I know they are not true.

But I remind myself that even when others do not accord me grace that each of us deserves, that I can accord myself grace.

I know myself.

I own my imperfections and I do not need to apologize for them.

They are part of the beautiful constellation that is my humanity.

I know my strengths and I do not need to prove or justify myself for the satisfaction of others.

I believe in myself.

I believe in the healing power of reflection and writing.

I am learning, whose voices to listen to, when to listen and how to listen.

I am learning how to make space for pain I don’t think I deserve.

I am learning, and growing, and it is beautiful but painful.