Growing in Grace

green leafed seedlings in black plastic pots

“What we pay attention to grows…what we put our attention on grows”

I recently finished reading adrienne maree brown’s Emergent Strategy and took note of these words (and many others). Since then I’ve been in an inquiry around transformation, and what it really means to live a life committed to growth, transformation, resilience and healing.

It is a process and it is hard.

I should have expected this because I read the book (which I recommend that anyone reading this blog also read).

“Transformation doesn’t happen in a linear way, at least not one we can track”

“Emotional growth is nonlinear.”

“It is so important to cultivate our patience, our thoughtfulness, our willingness to slow down and seek the wisdom of those not already part of our movements–not to get them in step with our point of view, but because we need their lived experiential wisdom to shape solutions that will work for the majority of living beings.”

Yes, and…

…this is so antithetical to my internalized, individual norms of fixing it now, internalizing critique, making it always and only about me.

But as Lisa Thomas Adeyamo says (and adrienne maree brown quotes on p. 123-124 of Emergent Strategy), “Everything given time and nurturing, is moving towards balance and healing…healing is our birthright.”

I have been re-reading these words, these two pages in my journal where I’ve taken notes, multiple times today.

They are grounding me.

They are reminding me that I can teach myself new things. I can grow in grace. Perhaps there is no greater calling in this new year.

Later in the book, amb shares a conversation Jodie Tonita during which Jodie says, “In the face of daunting challenges, we must summon the courage to believe we are the ones we have been waiting for, take risks and experiment towards solutions. We’re being asked to behave in our inherent capacity, step into the unknown and challenge deeply held assumption. For most of us, that’s radically disruptive and contrary to how we’ve organized ourselves to succeed in life to date.”

Yes. It is so much to unlearn and to relearn and to learn anew.

There is courage in saying, “I did my best, and I will continue to strive to do better, now that I know better.”

There is courage in listening without personalizing and defending, but with openness to grow.

There is courage in change.

There is courage in extending grace to oneself as well as others.

But, it is a process and it is hard.

“What we pay attention to grows…what we put our attention on grows”

I am seeking to grow.

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