This was the sunrise this morning from my room.
I am not going to lie (because why would I lie on my own blog): yesterday was a lot.
Birthdays, death anniversaries, significant days in my own life or those of my children, they are often a lot.
Holding space for myself, for others, and getting through things as best I can, it is a lot.
Then the dawn comes, hopefully after a decent night’s rest.
Sometimes it remains hard, even with the beauty of calm skies. Like the weather, life can still be cold (or perhaps it can be especially cold) even when it is clear.
I was reminded of many things during this conference, during the last 24-36 hours, in conversation with many beloved people, holding big feelings (and sometimes letting them go), in sessions that were exactly the right place for me to be. Here they are in no general order:
- Sometimes I just need to listen.
- Sometimes I should not listen to my own first response and need to give things a minute and get feedback from others.
- I have an incredible community who loves me deeply.
- My incredible community gets when showing up for myself means I can’t show up for them (in the moment).
- Bearing witness is an active choice and comes with responsibility.
- Power and position come with responsibility.
- Responsibility is complicated.
- Humanity is complicated.
- Naps are really restorative.
- It is okay not to do something every minute of the day, even if part of you (me) wants to.
- Sometimes (not always the same sometimes as #2 above), I need to trust myself and stand in my truth (but also maybe sometimes after 24 hours have gone by)
- People are truly, for the most part, trying the best they can with the knowledge and experiences they have.
These aren’t particularly wise or new insights, but they were prescient reminders. I am learning to lean into rest, trying to remember to breathe, and building trust in community. I am so grateful, even and especially when I am in my most complicated, human moments, that there we journey together, and that I am deeply loved.