Photo by Volkan Olmez on Unsplash


Today, I am tired.

I am tired because yesterday was a 15 hour work day filled with assessment, teaching, meetings, e-mail, twitter chatting, fundraising, and parenting.

I am tired because I stayed up late last night giving feedback on assignments that talked about educational inequality in theory and in lived reality.

I am tired because I woke up early to help get my children ready for school.

I am tired because I am still living for the approval of others and hurt when I am misunderstood.

I am tired because I can’t do less and the world always wants more.

I am tired because I am overcommitted.

I am tired because I respond to the world around me, to the people around me, to the injustices around me.

I am tired because I feel all the feels.

I am tired because I love and grieve and think and live a full, full life.

Today, I am tired.

Photo by Tom Morel on Unsplash

But, today, I am also inspired.

I am inspired by the educators and future educators I work with.

I am inspired by their words, their growth, their openness, their anger at injustice, their desire to help dismantle the structures that reproduce inequalities.

I am inspired that I am not alone because they are with me, and my community is with me and my family is with me.

I am inspired because I currently have the greatest number of people I’ve ever had who truly do understand me.

I am inspired by the joy of my 3 year old daughter and the humor of my 12 year old son.

I am inspired by partnerships in family, life and community that sustain me.

I am inspired by the fact that though the journey may not be fast, I can go farther together with my fellow travelers.

I am inspired because I feel all the feels.

I am inspired because I am coming to accept that I can only be who I am and that person is someone that I respect.

I am inspired because I have faith in better tomorrows and am taking action to create those better tomorrows.

Today, I am inspired.

But also, I could use a few more hours of sleep.

Being Mindful of Time

Photo by Xiao jinshi on Unsplash

It’s Friday morning, just after 8am, and I am already feeling quite behind on my day, in terms of time.

My husband is sick so I did kid drop-off. We were out of bread so I thought I’d stop by the store “quickly” to pick up a couple of things and then get a smoothie on the way home.

An hour and a half later, with a consulting deadline and other major work projects to complete, I’m feeling behind.

This has pretty much been my relationship with time for my whole life, or at least, the last 25 years of it.

I’m always behind. I’m always rushing.  There’s never enough time to get it all done.

I suppose that early loss has something to do with these thoughts, my hyper-awareness of time.  I don’t think it helps that I’m high strung and have a compulsive tendency towards overcommitment which, when combined with some level of competence, leads to “too much to do” all the time.

But, today, I am taking just a moment for mindfulness.  To let go of the fact that I should be in multiple places physically, virtually, mentally, and in terms of my work life, and to just be and breathe, exactly where I am.

Just breathe.

In reality, this presence will afford me much more (peace, time, sanity) than it costs me and help me to truly be mindful of my time.

Just breathe.

Moment by moment. Step by step. Day by day.

Just breathe.