Connecting through Grief

I would never wish grief upon anyone. Having been well acquainted with grief for the great majority of my life (introduction at 7 losing my maternal grandmother who raised me, with a a crash course in acute grief at 16 after losing my mother suddenly, and being close to death and loss many times since), […]

Legacies and Layers of Loss

I have thousands of pictures of my mother’s life in Taiwan, and the beginning of her life in the United States. But there are only a few faces that I recognizes. There are only a few places that (I think) I can identify. I cannot read the writing, my mother’s handwriting in Chinese characters, that […]

What is the Cost of Pushing Through?

It’s my little girl’s 7th birthday. She is amazing. She is light and laughter, love and joy. She is silly and kind, self-expressed and brilliant. She is a gift. 7 years ago, when she came into this world, I was crying. In those moments of birthing her, I felt perhaps most acutely the loss of […]

It’s Complicated

It’s Mother’s Day. It’s my 27th Mother’s Day without my mother. It’s my 17th Mother’s Day as a mother, my 16th as a biological mother. 7 years ago on this day, I was on the eve of having my youngest child. Today, there is much joy. And I am on the edge of tears. It’s […]

Transitions

Sometimes there is not a right or wrong answer. Sometimes every choice you make has consequences, good or bad, for people you deeply care about, yourself included. And that is hard. Sometimes important journeys come to an end to make room for new journeys to begin. Sometimes those journeys are filled with people you adore, […]

Full & Empty

I have been on a very long journey of accepting my humanity and giving myself grace when I make mistakes. It is not easy. In the past week, I’ve been careless with my words twice and (albeit unintentionally) hurt two people who I think the world of. In both cases, I was too tired to […]