What does it mean to begin anew? To transform?
A quick google search and the Oxford languages dictionary defines the verb transform as to “make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance, or character of.”
This has been 2021.
New beginnings, transformation, reckoning, confrontation, integration, movement, grief, loss, rebirth, rediscovery, beauty, acceptance.
All of the things, often for much of the time.
And also a sense of nothing, all at once, and suddenly.
2021 has been a year that has tested my boundaries, personally and professionally, helped me to see what I want and don’t want in my life, helped me to move forward for myself and towards myself in ways that would not have been possible otherwise.
It is the year I feared losing my sister, but instead found her, and with her, such incredible light, joy, and resilience. It is a year we lost our father and I lost my uncle, but even in this, a year in which we became closer as a family, as grief and discovery remind us what we carry forth from our ancestors and what we strive to transform.
It is a year I feared losing myself, and instead reached out, found community, went back to therapy, rediscovered a capacity for love that I thought had long departed, took a sabbatical, used my voice powerfully, stood on wobbly legs, co-authored the book of my professional heart, wrote the YA novel of my personal heart. I even said no a few times.
In reflecting on 2021, I also look forward to 2022, knowing that it will be full because life is full. I call forth grace, ease and simplicity as I enter this year. I commit to working towards pausing, towards presence, and towards asking myself, “Are you listening to your heart?” as much as I reflexively listen to my mind. In 2022, I seek to make space for the abundance around me, and to love whole-heartedly, beginning with myself and extending throughout my communities.
What does it mean to begin anew? To transform?
I am on a journey to constantly rediscover the answers to these questions.
Wishing you blessings at the close of 2021 and as we enter 2022 together and apart. My love to you.