My survival (like that of many of women of color in, and outside, of academia) has always been about the hustle. I write about this a lot. I wrote about it last week, in fact.

But I am committed to moving beyond survival, towards thriving. And to do so, I have to slow down.

I am consistently reminded, by those who know me best and love me deeply (and even by those who don’t know me so much but can see the hustle in me), that I have to rest.

But rest does not come easy to someone who has lived in perpetual motion.

I went to dinner with my friend Christina a couple weeks ago and she recommended the book Sacred Rest by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith to me. I had 4 conversations this week where people said, word for word, “I hope you are creating/taking time to rest.” I was reminded by my Brother Ian’s rendition of Donnie McClurklin, in church this evening, that “after you’ve done all you can, you just stand.”

My body reminds me that I continue to carry things that I need to lay down, that if I choose to return later to pick them back up, these things will still be there, but for now, it is time to put them down.

I am reminded that I can’t give grace to others if I cannot understand the need for grace myself.

I am reminded that rest is resistance in a culture that is built upon exploitive over-productivity.

I am reminded that I want to live a joyful life, and that a life that has no room has no joy.

I am continuing to breathe.

I am resisting the pull to react, to respond immediately.

I am taking moments to be.