I really don’t have the time to write this blog.

And that’s probably exactly why I need to make, take, reclaim the time to write it.

It is the second week of the semester.  Yesterday, I went pretty much non-stop from my 6am run to arriving home after choir practice at 8:30pm then taking a practice quiz for Chinese, administered by my son 🙂 .  Today, again, it’s a 6:30am to 6:30 pm day. I began my day with a student teaching meeting at a local school before driving to campus to schedule research interviews and observation dates.  I have a collaborative research conference panel call in 30 minutes.  I have my first Chinese quiz in a few hours.  This afternoon, I have another student teaching meeting and a research interview.

My life can go non-stop.

Unless I call a hard stop. Unless I close my e-mail programs & refuse to focus on other browser windows. Unless I breathe and make a fresh cup of tea.

Stopping to blog does not take care of the lists of things that “need to get done.” It does not even, at this point, fulfill a challenge or allow me to check a box off on my busy schedule.  No one may even read this post.

But, that actually doesn’t matter, because it is my own form of personal resistance, to the idea that everything external will continue to be the driving force in my life.

Blogging brings me to a moment of presence.  It reminds me that as much as there is going on, I have the right to reclaim a bit of my time, that I can write for myself and in this moment.

This will not get done without practice.  So, this is practice.

What I hope is that I can catch myself sooner and sooner, when I go in an automatic doing mode so that I can be present, and remember WHY I’m doing all that I do, how much I value it, and how I need to set boundaries so that I can feel the ground beneath me and experience my own life.

From this place, I can go back to the rest of the day, less frenzied and more aware.  I know I’ve chosen to fill my life with these good things, so I want to experience the goodness of them through making, taking and reclaiming the time to breathe.