Exhaustion

I am tired.

Like this owl, sitting up, squinting at you through its sleep, I am tired.

I’ve been at the California Council on Teacher Education Fall Conference since Wednesday. Following my Wednesday morning drive, I had an all-day board meeting, and two full conference days (with me returning to my hotel room at 9 pm both nights) after which I proceeded to respond to student work (so that I might try to minimize work obligations over the weekend). Yesterday afternoon, I literally must have looked worse than that owl pictured above because my dean counseled me to get some rest in the afternoon after a roundtable session with colleagues (but I couldn’t because I was facilitating a Special Interest Group meeting later that afternoon).

In a little over an hour, the power at my hotel will go out for 4-hours.   Probably right around that time, I’ll head out. I would like to go to hear my friend give a keynote talk but I am so tired that I am more likely just to head home.

I miss my family.

I have had many more charming and articulate ideas about my blog this week–writing about my daughter’s love of the book series we’re reading (which is one of the best things of my life), writing about my learning at the conference (which has been important in many ways), writing about taking time for retreat (which I thought I would do, but am not doing), writing about time with cherished friends as renewal (which has been a lovely part of this week, but in the midst of doing far too much).

But, this is about my journey, and honestly, at this moment on my academic journey, I am exhausted. I cannot continue doing all the things, even all the things I love.  I have to rest and recharge.  I have to spend the time with the people in the places that restore me.   I have to make the time to rest.

I know that this is on me. I am intellectually aware that this needs to become my number 1 priority at this moment. But, it is my hardest unlearning.

And I am tired, so, so tired.

2 thoughts on “Exhaustion

  1. Oh, I hear you! I so hear you! 😉 Here’s to finding the courage to let go of some things to make the necessary space to rest, and make it possible to keep going! 💕

    • Thanks, Jayne! It’s been encouraging to see your sabbatical. I hope that you’re finding some time for rest in your travels, my friend!